Ouch

The thing about the strained neck is: When you hurt the right side, two days later the left side is doomed to suffer. Whenever there is a ping, there is a pong. And you smell like a huge tube of BENGAY for the rest of the week.

Oops

On the first day of 31

Sometimes I just need to know that I can do it.

All this year my theme has been about a process, a change, and a dash line from this dot to the next. I have opened up a little. I have experienced a little more. I have had a higher expectation.

When you look back, it is always overwhelmingly amazing to realize how far you have come and how much you have grown. But I am trying something new for the first time. I am going to look forward and wade through the swamp of what has made me me.

In doing so, I need to know that I can do it. With the help of unexpected incidents and people, I have grown to realize that with a little confidence, I can accomplish a lot more.

And there it is, the coming challenge and obstacle. The huge barrier between the old me and the future me. The goal I meant to put in front of me but seems so distant away.

I might have been whining openly about many things. But recently I do feel helpless and I need much support from you, even though some of you have been out of reach, or, I have not been able to feel your existence. I flounder hopelessly and panic aimlessly alone. Still, I need you to tell me that I'll be fine, it's right there, GO FOR IT.

I need to believe, among the parallel universes, there is at least one other me who has already seen through all these, seen who he really is. I need to know, from the 31th year, there are finally spectacles meant for me.

Happy Birthday to me.

not in a good mood

blame it on the heat

the weekend gluttony

So my gourmet gang and I gathered together again during the weekend celebrating the new world that somebody is oldER. The restaurant was fancy, the atmosphere was pleasant and the food was great. While we were working our way toward the dessert, one memeber started the drawing game we do on the paper napkin before food comes at restaurants (a.k.a. the animal quiz). After a couple rounds of warming up, Ivy, our lady of tranquility and quick wit, grabbed the pen and drew something like this on the table:

Silence fell upon people who claim to have Discovery Channel on the background at home and we were striving to find the name of an animal that matches this pic of utter simplicity. But I almost passed out when I heard the answer.

It was calamari.

What's even more horrifying was somebody actually got it right.

.............

I took it as a dangerous sign that we should go out more.

insomnia talk

Just imagine.

Imagine a dot six inches underneath your feet and focus your mind on it.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Imagine a sphere of light swirling in the space you are now hovering above. Imagine it expanding underneath your being. Imagine immersing yourself in the warm light.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Imagine yourself sinking into the earth. Imagine yourself leaving where you are at your life. Imagine that you are at least heading somewhere. Imagine you don't have to be you.

Just imagine.

Keep breathing in and keep breathing out. You are in the swirling light dissolving you, your being. The exhaustion takes over. The drowsiness sets in.

While you're leaving, imgaine, if you know how to, a brand new bright day you've never waken up to.