mayday msg

If this ever reaches anyone, HELP.

Before he wakes up again. Before it is too late. Before I start the plunge, the falling.

I am now typing on his computer, urging his fingers, and riding his anxiety. I am trying to water down his adrenalin, his anger, and his resentment. Although not always in the right time or the right place, I am here now.

HELP. If this ever shows on your computer monitor.

Before he makes his last attempt and takes over everything. Before he gets the best of me. Before there is no me.

HELP, HELP, HELP. If you can even hear me shrieking from the distant inside.

I am his patience, his struggle, and his last hesitation of making the move. I am his weakening belief. I am his cause of stubbornness. I am the sheath of his isolation. I am the destination he is longing for but never close to, and, I am him, I am me.

So if this ever gets to you, HELP. If somehow you｡ｦd care, I don｡ｦt know, if you would light up a path, build a bridge, or break the silent process. If you have the answer for him, or for me, please.

Before he takes the control. Before I give in. Before we decide this is how we｡ｦre mocked, how we｡ｦre abandoned.

HELP.